There’s a tenet which says, “The way you do anything is the way you do everything.” I was reflecting on the notion of where am I settling in my life and it occurred to me that if I settle even on the small things, well, that contributes to my settling on the big ones. I’ll share a recent example.
My dad gave me a cool case for my iPhone 4s for Christmas, but when it arrived, it wasn’t the one that I had asked for, nor was it the one that he ordered. In other words, a glitch at the Apple store. Rather than the red one, they sent me an orange one. Now orange is one of my very favorite colors, but I wanted the red one. I thought, maybe I would just keep it, no big deal. But this voice inside me said loudly and clearly, “But you really liked the red one. Why don’t you exchange it.” Makes sense, but then I realized it would take EFFORT to make that exchange happen. I called the Apple Store to see if they had a red one and they said they did, but when I made the EFFORT to drive to the Apple Store to exchange it, it was a different style and not the one I wanted. So once again, I could have chosen a different one from the stock they had in the store, but I was really feeling how much I wanted what I wanted and didn’t want to settle. And it became like a mantra in my head, “don’t settle for less than what you truly want.” At this point it wasn’t about the case, but about living true to myself, as if this experience was a spiritual teaching in and of itself. (And it was!) So ultimately they refunded the money in the form of a gift card, and I then went home and made the further EFFORT to reorder it from the online store, and then I had to wait for it to arrive.
So what’s the theme here, really, is it getting what we TRULY want? On the material level, yes, but it’s the journey that it represents through the EFFORT and some waiting that is the wisdom. Most of us would rather settle for instant gratification, or to take whatever lands in our lap, even after we have made some EFFORT to get what we truly want. But when you silence the voice of clarity within you, you begin to live a life of mediocrity, and you will settle all over the place. In the job you choose to take, the relationship you choose to be in, what you wear, eat and think. Because it’s true, the way you do anything is the way you do everything.
So why do we do this? I’m finding that the questions are more important than the answers in life, and the questions will lead you on a journey of self-discovery. Every time we say, “it’s too much trouble (AKA EFFORT!), I’ll just…” we are setting up a life that is less than what we truly envision for ourselves. Over time, all that settling morphs into an entirely different life than the one we set out to acquire initially. Every time we say it’s okay when it’s not, we are in the process of changing the frequency of our ENTIRE life.
Now, I”m not talking about compromise here. All relationships are give and take, and sometimes we need to compromise with another, but I”m inviting you not to compromise with YOURSELF. Hold out for what you want. You are worth it. As I move through my own life, these subtle moments become epiphanies. No, it’s not about me wanting the red one and not the orange case. It’s about having what I truly want and being willing to make the EFFORT to get it. It’s about staying on course with my vision for myself, for my life. There’s an honesty and integrity in that. Settling is a form of self-betrayal. If you’ll betray yourself, you’ll allow others to do it, too. It’s all connected.
So look at how you do things in your life. I’m only exploring the aspect of settling in this post, and using a seemingly irrelevant situation as the example, but you can look at other aspects of your life. For instance, are you aggressive or passive about how you take action in your life? Are you conservative or a risk-taker? Are you a leader of a follower? Do you like coffee or tea (Okay that was a joke)? If you start to ask these questions and to examine all the little moments in your life and how you do them, you’ll discover a pattern that is consistent throughout. Know thyself. The relationship you have with yourself is the most important one you’ll ever have. I mean, you can’t get a divorce from yourself, or move away from yourself, or ignore yourself. So you’re stuck with you. Be the YOU that’s true. You’re worth the EFFORT. So don’t settle for less!
Love & Blessings,
P,S. check out the archive posts and please share them on your social media and with anyone you feel would enjoy them!